David Papp Blog

The most useless apps ever invented

There’s a heck of a lot of apps out there, ranging from the ridiculous to the functional. This post is going to be about those that fall on the more ludicrous end of the spectrum. Some of these apps can be handy for a bit of a laugh, others will leave you befuddled and/or worried about the future of the human race.

  1. Door Stop (Free, iPhone)

    Apparently there are people out there who have a pent-up need to play with springy door stops. As the app’s makers put it, “You can now play with that thing until the cows come home!”

  2. Fan Cooler ($0.99, iPhone)

    This app features a fan that you can customize in terms of speed and background color for $.99. Perhaps this app may be used for those desperate times where you wish you had a fan, but only had a smartphone instead? Except it doesn’t actually blow any air!! (Maybe it is all psychological) If you have an android phone, there are lots of similar android-friendly variants of this app as well. (see Pocket Fan for example)

  3. My Name Is (Free, iPhoneAndroid)

    This app allows you to make a nametag out of your smartphone. Why? Just because. Fonts and colors customizable.

  4. iNap@Work (Free, iPhone)

    Want to sleep at work but want to look like you’re still working? This app will produce ambient office sounds (typing, mouse-clicking, paper-shuffling, etc.) and you can even adjust your “work productivity level” to control how often these sounds will repeat while you nap. This probably won’t let you get away with sleeping on the job, but it’s funny.

  5. Zips (Free, iPhone)

    Yes, it is what you think it is – a zipper that goes up and down. This’ll probably appeal to those with zipper fetishes. Useless or not, you have to give this app props for how realistic it looks.

  6. iBeer (Free, iPhoneAndroid)

    This one has been around for a while. You can make your screen look and sound like it’s filled with beer. If chugging down pretend beer is your idea of fun, this app may be for you.

  7. Tickle Me! (Free, iPhone)

    This app responds with child-like laughter when you “tickle” the screen. May work to entertain young children. Be careful though, seeing a grown man tickling his phone may cause discomfort to others. There are similar apps like this for Android devices (see Tickle Time for example).

  8. Hold On ($0.99, iPhone)

    The sole purpose of this app is to see how you long you can hold your finger in a fixed position. Probably used in (drinking) games or bets.

  9. What’s Your Nickname? (Free, iPhone)

    This app asks you a series of questions, then bestows upon you a nickname based on your “personality.” Apparently some people have a problem coming up with nicknames for themselves. (Here’s a tip: other people are the ones who do that for you).

  10. iFart ($0.99, iPhone)

    This app has become one of the most popular apps ever. For $.99, it allows you to make fart noises of different varieties, from noises described as “Burrito Maximo” to “Bombardier.” Making fake fart noises never seems to get old and people continue to download the app every day. There’s a free version called iFart Lite.

Perhaps these novelty apps have become the modern day version of novelty toys. They may be useless, but this hasn’t stopped a lot of users from downloading them. To each their own indeed.

24 thoughts on “The most useless apps ever invented”

  1. This is a funny post. I think we have all come across some absolutely useless apps in our time, I used to download apps for fun just to see what they were like and rarely kept one.
    The iFart app story is an interesting one, not only is it one of the most popular apps of all time but it has been featured and mentioned on news stories and TV shows. There has been so many copycats Apple have actually banned any fart app related submissions. So I guess sometimes it pays off to make ‘useless’ apps.

  2. Wow, I can understand if the app can be downloaded for free but $1 for a useless app? You got to be either really rich or just plain stupid to throw in money for an app that has zero value whatsoever. It’s like paying to breathe oxygen. Hold On app? I can see it being a party game or something but come on, who would throw away $1 for an app like that.

    • I too am surprised that some of these apps are $1. People will go to great lengths in order to attempt to sell a product. Back in the early days of iOS, an app named “I am rich” or something of the sort was released for the App Store maximum: $999.99. All it did was display a bright red diamond saying “I am rich!” and some people still bought it.

  3. I’m surprised that these even exist never mind the fact that so many people download and even buy these! With the power that’s inside most of the phones you could do many things. I’ve noticed this even more since I lost mine a few months back. Even an app like Calculator is extremely important for me.

    Or you can play with a zipper,
    cause that’s cool too.

  4. I dont’t think you listed(or maybe I’m just blind) that one app that costs rougly $999,99. I am not joking, the app is called “I am rich” (pretty ironic) that displays a motivational text.The app as it’s own wikipedia page, check it out :


    • People find a lot of crazy ways to make money. I know that people will do almost anything for money, it is how the world works. I remember that app and I am not sure if people actually payed for it, but I believe I heard someone say it was actually believable because it was just a status symbol in the digital world.

  5. Most of the apps listed look like they will be very entertaining. I would not call them useless because I am sure that people have fun with them. They are for entertaining purposes only. Only people that do not have a sense of humor would call these apps useless but people who like to have fun would not.

  6. Ha, some of these are funny. I wonder what other ideas their creators currently have in mind. Zips is actually something I’d be interesting in trying out. I like to zip and unzip my hoodies just for that refreshing sound the zipper makes. I live in a warm area and I only rarely ever find the appropriate time to do so.

  7. I’ve never been one to download a bunch of novelty apps. They make everything too cluttered. You have to wonder what the motivation was for making some of these…especially the free ones. Do they have ads in them or something? Is the creator making money on them somehow? I’m not sure how it all works.

  8. IBeer was one of the apps that I used the most, when the IPhone came out. The Fan cooler seems to be really silly considering the fact that you have to pay for it. And I feel the same about Hold on. I don’t’ mind a few of these apps, because they bring humor into a room, but as long as they are free. It is really fun when you can leave your phone right behind a friend with just enough time to stare back, and a fart noise introduces itself.

  9. I can’t believe people have actually paid for apps like ‘Fan Cooler’ and ‘Hold On’, I mean the ‘Fan Cooler’ sounds like a good idea, but only if a phone was able to actually blow air! The ‘Hold On’ one is just plain stupid, there has to be an app out there with the same function, but FREE!

  10. I wouldn’t mind releasing one of these “useless” apps for free. While it may seem mundane and pointless, there come a lot of learning when developing apps. Even having SOMETHING to put on your resume or in your portfolio is very good.

    For example, the iBeer certainly isn’t anything special and probably loses its fun after a couple minutes, but there’s still a decent amount of work that’s put into the app that should be respected.

  11. Haha. iFart Lite made me laugh for some reason. Does that make me a child? 30 years old and still laughing at fart jokes. Oh well. Some of these apps, like Door Stop would probably actually entertain me, at least for a few seconds. But there is no way I would pay for one, even if it is only $0.99

  12. Yeah.. Those do seem pretty useless, but hey, I’ll probably be downloading a few of them in the future 😛 They are always a great way to make some extra cash though, thanks to ads these days 😛

  13. I’ve bursted out laughing reading through some of those! There are some really funny ideas like iFart and iNap@Work.
    Haha, I thought I’ve seen the most useless apps but after reading this post I had to reconsider that statement. I’m gonna have some fun with some of those!

  14. I don’t understand why app stores would allow entry with these apps. I mean surely there has to be some sort of rule they had to convey in order to sort out the apps that are coming their way. I understand if the apps are free since I tend to download stupid apps that are free just for some senseless fun but paying at least one dollar is just asking too much.

    It astounds me how people will actually make an effort to somehow cash in some money off of people. For me that sounds really desperate, I mean who would pay a dollar just to listen to fart noises? It’s not like they’re fun to listen to anyways. I’d rather buy a song off iTunes at least that’s more value you get for the money.

  15. Hah, apps like these are how people get started with development. Just having the gratification of seeing something you made actually work seems pretty cool, and doing this with kids could help introduce them into STEM fields earlier. But these “useless” apps just goes to show something novelty can sell for a lot, even if it is simple like a soundbox of farts.

  16. That about sums all of those up right. They all sound like they are completely useless. I tend to do away with downloading apps that don’t offer any real value out of them at the end of the day. iFart is probably the least futile app out of the bunch if not just for the giggles, but still it’s pointless.

  17. Of course these apps are useless but they are funny. I’ve actually used some of these apps to prank my friends, so I guess that is what they are useful for. But I don’t see the need to charge for some of the mentioned apps. They may have great graphic quality, but it is not worth a dollar, some don’t even make you laugh and you have to pay $1 for it. Such as the fan cooler app, that has no benefit and no humor comes out of it. I bet the developers of that app laugh when somebody is stupid enough to buy it.

  18. Wow, some of those apps are cool stuffs, apparently. Although it should not matter what it’s called, I’m still baffled by the most popular app in this list. It has even got a lighter version. It exhausts me just to be reading up on them. I can comprehend Door Stop up to Hold On, but I cannot imagine myself ever using them.

  19. LoL @ iFart… it sounds more like uFart, since it’ll sure be used in pranks.

    iNap@Work is another one for the workaholics. If can help people who have the fantasy but don’t have the courage 😀

  20. Why these aren’t useless apps at all! Have you folks ever been to a party? You’d be surprised how much fun you and your friends will have with most of these apps when you’re almost black out drunk.

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